..keep in heart..

omg...recently i realize that i have lost my courage...
lost courage to do smth..
without courage..i become more and more shilly-shally...
i lost my way...
some time feel like want to do smth...
i will consider lots element...
scare after i did it will hv any bad effect..
scare will lead to bad image that other lo0k at me...
scare i share to them but they dont share with me...
scare will misunderstand me...*whatsoeverla*

some time...i very feel like want to join..
i hv also try my best to be more closer...
but still cant get the feedback that i expected....
mayb bcoz of this issue lead to my courage taper off..
and therefore, i always get hurt by it..
though i didnt say out but it doesnt mean that i dont care abt it...

however,
there is always a quarto :-

'' you treat others great but others wont treat you the same''
“你对别人好，别人不一定对你好。”

i always only remember it after i get hurt.. TT_TT
i dont know the way to spread out my sadnesses and worries...
tell my frenz that i trust?? tell my frenz that i think someone can accept me??
*ialsodontknowwhocanifindntellle..sometimeimveryblur TT.TT*

nevertheless, i saw a topic that very match with my mind..
that is:-

难过了，不要告诉别人，别人永远都不可能明白在你的立场上的感受难过了，静静的蹲下来抱着自己，让眼泪尽情的洒落难过了，拿着镜子 看看此刻的自己，让真实浮现眼前难过了，默默的将自己隐藏起来，让空虚掩盖一切难过了，闭眼倾听周围的声音，让自己沉浸在喧嚣中难过了，不必告诉别人，自 己的悲伤为何要别人也承担呢难过了，可以假装快乐，和别人一起兴奋时就能遗忘了自己难过了，仍然安慰别的伤心者，你会发现自己也在受益，当局者迷而已 ，难过了，听音乐，就让音乐把它带走有谁不曾难过，有谁还会记得过去的不再从来 又何必去苦想 忘掉… 用微笑渲泄悲伤

自己的伤悲除了自己别人永远体会不到，心里的烦恼自己压下去，好好对自己，来到这个世界不容易，让自己洒脱一点，哪怕是假装的，也要伪装成快乐的那一个.............

it is great and im totally agreed with it!! it is almost 100% describe what i feel!!

so, what can i do now is just keep all in my heart only.. =(